Guns are no more responsible for killing people than the spoon is responsible for making Rosie O'Donnell fat. So many stupid people, not enough bullets in a clip. Us blondes aren't dumb Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading Guns don't kill people, they just make it easier Honk if you've never seen an uzi fired from a car window. Buy a gun, piss off a liberal. Not all dumbs are blonde I got a gun for my wife....good trade! Beer -- Helping Ugly People Get Laid Since 1837 Sit on my face and tell me you love me I still miss my ex...but my aim is getting better! Good Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere. Do I look like a Hemroid? Then get off my ass Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Madness takes its toll - please have exact change ready My kid had sex with your honor student. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. The good thing about schizophrenia is you never run out of people to talk to Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me? 99.9% of people in America suffer from insanity. The rest of us enjoy every minute of it! Don't follow me! I don't know where I'm going. Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most. Fat people are harder to kidnap. Look out - I collect ass-whippings. Don't trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die. If I am swerving, I dropped my beer. Honk if your horn is broken Never play leap frog with a unicorn. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself. Jesus saves, by using double coupons and shopping wisely I say no to drugs but they just don't listen. Where There's A Whip, There's A Way. If your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays? I love animals, they're delicious! Hell yes I'm drunk! what do you think I am, a stunt driver? Hit Me! Ex-wife in trunk! Rust test in progress. Do Not Wash - this vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test. The gene pool could use a little chlorine! Crime Does Pay (seen on a new BMW) Caution I swerve and hit people at random. You are proof that God has a sense of humor. Support the right to arm bears! Must not sleeep... the clowns will eat me. Thank you for not breeding If you come any closer, I'll eat you. If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat? Guns dont kill people, I do. Life's Short...Drive Fast If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first. I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants! So many cats, so few recipes. I love cats. They taste like chicken. Caution: Driver Reads Braille If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. God made pot, man made beer, who do you trust? Who pissed in your gene pool? Why do we kill people who kill people just to show people killing people is wrong? I'm out of bed, what more do you want? Strip me, whip me, tie me, fly me. Lost your cat? Look under my tires. If you don't like my driving, stay off the footpath. I don't mind the voices in my head, it's the ones in yours that bug me. Horn broken, watch for finger. I farted so you'd smell better. Do Not Tailgate, Or I Will Flick a Booger on Your windshield! ROAD RAGE: Next 20 mi. So you like tailgating, and I like stopping suddenly. BOAT - A hole on the surface of water into which money is thrown My other car is a piece of crap too! Keep on working. Millions of people on welfare depend on you If you can read this, you're in phaser range Of course you're faster, but I'm driving in front of you. Caution: I drive like you do If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk! A wise monkey never monkeys with another monkey's monkey Friends don't let friends drive naked. Speed bumps excite me! Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Join the Army: Visit exotic places, meet interesting people and then kill them Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup Driver carries no money - He's Divorced! Too Close for Missiles, Switching to Guns Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children. If it's called tourist season, why can't we hunt them? If you're being passed on the right, YOU ARE IN THE WRONG LANE! Reality: Just the illusion created by the lack of drugs in our society. Stay back, learning to change gears. Hold on before you pass, I'm reloading. Do not argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and beat you up with their experience. This car protected by a pitbull with AIDS The ozone layer, or cheese whiz... Ah choices... Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive? If I gave a shit, you'd be the first one I gave it to. Due to the shortage of paper products, please wipe your ass with a spotted owl. Nonconformists are all alike. OUTTA MY WAY. My kids gotta pee! This vehicle protected by a shotgun 23 hours a day. The rest of the time, I'm hiding the bodies." Smile, its the next best thing you can do with your lips. Don't piss me off. i'm running out of places to hide the bodies.