men?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Midnight Blue, Jul 20, 2003.

  1. Midnight Blue

    Midnight Blue Spirit

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  2. tek

    tek New Member

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    Hehe

    :lol:

    That's hilarious, nice find.
     
  3. Mac Daddy

    Mac Daddy New Member

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    LMAO !!!!

    Thats funny as hell ........
    But in some ways so true:hmm: :lol::lol:
     
  4. Midnight Blue

    Midnight Blue Spirit

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    men r lazy ! we all know it !
     
  5. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Someone once explained the difference between men and women this way:

    If you see a man wearing a suit and ask him where he got it, he'll usually look inside the jacket at the label and tell you the name of the designer or he'll tell you which store he got it from.

    If you see a woman wearing a dress and ask her where she got it, she'll immediately reply, "Why, what's wrong with it?"


    :)
     
  6. Midnight Blue

    Midnight Blue Spirit

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    i read somewhere that women speak 3 times as many words as men a day.......... that I will agree with, but u cant deny u r all lazy !
     
  7. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Oh, we could deny it all day long. It might not be true, but we can deny it. :)
     
  8. Midnight Blue

    Midnight Blue Spirit

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    we are also smarter :)
     
  9. Falstaff

    Falstaff Old Codger

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    no way both of my ex wives used to tell me that I never listened to them

    Or something like that......hell I can't remember
     
  10. UberLord

    UberLord A Legend in Underwear

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    Now I know you're being delusional :rolleyes:

    Statistically men are more intelligent and women are more practical
     
  11. BWX

    BWX get out and ride

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    If not for women, there would be no reason for money.
     
  12. mike2h

    mike2h New Member

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    men r lazy ! we all know it !

    we are just better at getting someboby else to do things. which probably makes us smarter too! :D
     
  13. digerati

    digerati Everyones life has worth

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    BEHOLD!!! MY DESK!!! IN ALL ITS GLORY!!!

    [​IMG]
     
  14. digitalwanderer

    digitalwanderer Colour Commentator

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    <The Dig dons his abestos undies and hops on the couch with some popcorn. Lowering his safety-visor on his hazard suit he says animatedly, "Don't mind me, please continue.">

    :D
     
  15. kinetic

    kinetic Well-Known Member

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    Women's English:

    Yes = No

    No = Yes

    Maybe = No

    I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

    We need = I want

    It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

    Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

    We need to talk = I need to complain.

    Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

    I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

    You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

    You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

    This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

    I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

    Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

    I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

    Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

    How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

    I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

    Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

    Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

    Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.

    I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.

    The same old thing = Nothing

    Nothing = Everything

    Everything = My PMS is acting up.

    Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

    -----------------------------------------------------

    Men's English:

    "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.

    "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.

    "I'm tired" = I'm tired.

    "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

    "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

    "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

    "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

    "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

    "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

    "What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.

    "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

    "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

    "I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?

    "I love you." = Let's have sex now.

    "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!

    "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

    "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

    "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

    "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

    (while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

    "I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay



    :rolleyes:
     
  16. Falstaff

    Falstaff Old Codger

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    LMAO

    a true gem of a find....I copied it, haha
     
  17. eyeguy616

    eyeguy616 ZZzzzzzzzzzz...........

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    [​IMG]
    Happens everytime my mom asks me to go with her to get something..... I have to remind her what it was she "needed" to get. :rolleyes:

    ~eyeguy616 :D
     
  18. UberLord

    UberLord A Legend in Underwear

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    Ring side seats are going for 20 Ubermids.
    At the current rate of exchange, that comes to around 300 of your yankee dollars :evil:
     
  19. UberLord

    UberLord A Legend in Underwear

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    That map's not right ..........

    There's two shops she DIDN'T GO IN :hmm:
     
  20. kinetic

    kinetic Well-Known Member

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    Most likely the Electrical goods shop and Halfords! :)
     

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