This is a real screenshot I took about 10 min ago. Instagram blocks it for some reason so I am sharing it here and on twitter.
A Russian soldier ran up to a nun in downtown Moscow. Out of breath, he asked; "Sister, please, may I hide under your skirt, I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later, two military police ran up and asked; "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun, pointing down the street, replied; "He went that way." After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said; "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine." The nun said; "I understand completely." The soldier added; "I hope I'm not rude; but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied; "If you had looked a little higher, you would've seen a great pair of balls. I don't want to go to Ukraine either."