Some of my favourite quotes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by HardwareHeaven, Feb 3, 2003.

  1. HardwareHeaven

    HardwareHeaven Administrator Staff Member

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    What others think of us would be of little moment did it not, when known, so deeply tinge what we think of ourselves.

    What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.

    Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

    The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.

    Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

    Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

    If mankind minus one were of one opinion, then mankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one - if he had the power - would be justified insilencing mankind.

    Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

    Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves.

    No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

    Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

    You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

    Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know.

    The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

    The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.

    The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

    Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.

    Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much.
    John Wayne (1907 - 1979), Advice on acting

    I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

    We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards coud produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.

    I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.
    Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960)

    There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income.
    Edmund Wilson (1895 - 1972)

    Every increased possession loads us with new weariness.
    John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

    An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
    Robert A. Humphrey
     
  2. DriveEuro

    DriveEuro New Member

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    When in doubt, whip it out. ~Me
     
  3. HardwareHeaven

    HardwareHeaven Administrator Staff Member

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    im thinking you accidentally posted that twice Driveeuro, either that or you have 2 to whip out, so you must be popular
     
  4. HsuGotaQ

    HsuGotaQ Hydrogenated Dumbass

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    Movies, movies, movies!

    First you want to kill me, then you want to kiss me. Blow.
    - Ash, Army of Darkness

    There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here, you are all equally worthless.
    - Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey), Full Metal Jacket

    I don't need you to tell me how good my coffee is. I'm the one who buys it. When Bonnie goes out she buys shit. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it.
    - Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
     
  5. AT_curiousB

    AT_curiousB New Member

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    here ya go

    Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

    If you were my husband I would give you poison to drink.

    Churchills reply:-

    If you were my wife, I would drink it!

    Another exchange between the two, Churchill to Lady Astor:-


    You are Ugly

    Lady Astors' response

    And you Sir are Drunk!!

    His reply was :-

    I may well be Madam, but in the morning I will be sober.
     
  6. craig5320

    craig5320 Well-Known Member

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    If you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with.
     
  7. fornicatarachnid

    fornicatarachnid Clanless

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    Life's a bitch, then you die

    Shit stinks !
     
  8. jp306

    jp306 New Member

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    Live Free or Die!

    New Hampshire State motto
     
  9. Ubergrendle

    Ubergrendle Semper ubi sub ubi

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    Famous last words:

    "I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis." - Humphrey Bogart

    "That was a great game of golf, fellers."- Bing Crosby, while lay dying on the golf course of a massive coronary attack.

    "Mozart!" - Gustaf Mahler on his deathbed. Possibly also attributed to Beethoven.

    "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance..." General John Sedgewick, shot dead by a sniper at the Battle of Spotsylvania during the US Civil War.

    "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." George Bernard Shaw

    "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." Oscar Wilde
     
  10. Zelig

    Zelig Well-Known Member

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    Travis: Okay who wants a vegan burger?
    Matt: They're made from real vegans.
    -Annoying a garage full of vegetarians

    Waiter: Would you like soup or salad?
    Steve: Yes, please.
    Waiter: Excuse me.
    Steve: I said I wanted the Super Salad!
    Waiter: I asked if you wanted soup OR salad.
    Steve: Oh. In that case nothing thanks.
    Waiter: What kind of dressing would you like?
    -When two idiots meet

    "I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with someone who is not only unarmed, but doesn't even know where the hell the field is!"
    -Jess, neutralizing potential conflict with a painfully dumb classmate

    Danny: A sphincter says "What?"
    Jacob: Alpha.
    Danny: What? ...CRAP!
    -Danny, outwitted and outmatched

    "Dude, I was having the worst day today...then I thought to myself, hey, I could be Mike....and all my troubles vanished."
    -Scott M., consoling himself in front of Mike

    From one of my favorite sites ever, no deep meanings, but they crack me up. :)
     
  11. Maddogg6

    Maddogg6 Tail Razer

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    Once you've seen it once, you've seen it once. - :Me
     
  12. bananaman

    bananaman banana muncher

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    If I should die, think only this of me:
    That there's some corner of a foreign field
    That is for ever England...

    Rupert Brooke

    The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.

    Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.

    Fyodor Dostoevsky

    Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

    Leo Tolstoy

    America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

    I am not young enough to know everything.

    Oscar Wilde
     
  13. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    (We have a column in the Atlanta Journal/Constitution called "The Vent". It's filled with submissions via telephone or e-mail from readers everywhere. The following "Vent" was submitted in response to the effort of a local mother who wants to get "Harry Potter" books removed from the county school libraries "because they are 'evil'".)

    Here's the "Vent" that was submitted:


    "If reading 'Harry Potter' makes me a witch, then watching 'Smallville' makes me Superman." :)
     
  14. Tipstaff

    Tipstaff Well-Known Member

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    I'm an equal opportunity biggoted racist... cuz I hate everybody.

    When people begin to get all philosophical they seem to think it's necessary to make themselves artificially stupid.
     
  15. Falstaff

    Falstaff Old Codger

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    Time is the fire in which we burn..

    good ones Tipstaff, Dyrestraitstaff, bananamanstaff, Maddogg6staff, Zeligstaff, Ubergrendlestaff, jp306staff, fornicatarachnidstaff, craig5320staff, AT curiousBstaff, HSUgotaQstaff, DriveEurostaff(banned)....

    thanx for reviving an old thread..:lol:
     
  16. pr0digal jenius

    pr0digal jenius Delete Me

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    If at first you don't succeed...give it up, you're gunna embarass yourself
     
  17. riles9262

    riles9262 Driverheaven brewmaster

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    ah, I love the smell of 3 year old resurrections in the morning!

    -truth
     
  18. Falstaff

    Falstaff Old Codger

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    I wondered what I stepped in....
    now I have to clean my tennis shoes... :rofl:
     
  19. Tipstaff

    Tipstaff Well-Known Member

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    I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

    I really don't get vegitarians. Come on. Human beings didn't fight their way to the top of the food chain just to become damned vegitarians!

    Everyone thinks that Humpty Dumpty fell of the wall but, what if he was pushed?

    Edit: btw, Jeff, taking liberties with Walt Whitman, are you?
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2006
  20. Falstaff

    Falstaff Old Codger

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    yessssssssss
    Jedi you are....(yoda)
     

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