Very short jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Trusteft, Dec 2, 2009.

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  1. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Bigamy means having one wife more than you should. Monogamy means the same thing.
     
    IvanV, May 13, 2020
    #301
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  2. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    According to the Bible account of creation, after the first day of creation, God rested; the 2nd day, rested; the 3rd day, rested, etc. But, then, He created "woman" and, since then, NO ONE has rested! ;)
     
    Dyre Straits, May 22, 2020
    #302
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  3. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    IvanV, Jun 22, 2020
    #303
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  4. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Many women choose to marry a man similar to their father. That's why the mother of the bride always cries at the wedding.
     
    IvanV, Jun 24, 2020
    #304
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  5. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    I'm stealing this.
     
    Trusteft, Jun 24, 2020
    #305
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  6. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    Me: Chrome, how much RAM will you need?

    Chrome: Yes
     
    Calliers, Jul 9, 2020
    #306
  7. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Fred Gibbs was retired, but, decided to start a second career as a caterer. However, he was constantly late, but an excellent worker!

    After a few weeks, his new boss called him in for a review.

    "Fred, you're an excellent worker and I'd hate to let you go. But, being constantly late is getting old," he said.

    "I know, and I'm working hard on that," Fred replied.

    "I'm glad to hear that, Fred. Tell me, on your previous job, whenever you were late, what did they say to you?"

    "Usually, it was 'Good morning, Admiral!'"
     
    Dyre Straits, Jul 23, 2020
    #307
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  8. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    I'm sure his boss decided not to let him go after hearing that! :D
     
    Calliers, Jul 23, 2020
    #308
  9. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    At work, I got a plaque thanking me for my contribution to the team and waking up before 11AM the whole of three times over the previous two years. :D:D:D

    perhaps I mentioned this on a previous occasion
     
    IvanV, Jul 23, 2020
    #309
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  10. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    LOL!
     
    Calliers, Jul 23, 2020
    #310
  11. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    I'm sure you did. But, you've slept since then. :)
     
    Dyre Straits, Jul 23, 2020
    #311
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  12. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood HH's curmudgeon

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    Guy walks into a bar.

    Doctor says the stitches can come out in two weeks....



    [cymbal crash]
     
    Tyrsonswood, Jul 24, 2020
    #312
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  13. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    Oldie but still good.
     
    Calliers, Jul 24, 2020
    #313
  14. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood HH's curmudgeon

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    [​IMG]
     
    Tyrsonswood, Jul 24, 2020
    #314
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  15. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    Imagine living your life and out of nowhere a dude falls onto you.
     
    Trusteft, Jul 24, 2020
    #315
  16. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    Them: Who is your favourite band?

    Me: Yes.

    Them: No, who is your favourite band?

    Me: Yes.

     
    Calliers, Jul 25, 2020
    #316
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  17. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Not long after Pope Francis was elected the new pope, he traveled to Israel and met with a Rabbi and a Muslim Imam.

    Did anyone notice whether they walked into a bar together?
     
    Dyre Straits, Jul 25, 2020
    #317
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  18. arb65912

    arb65912 Well-Known Member

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    Daddy, how far to America? ... Shut the fuck up and paddle!!!
     
    arb65912, Aug 6, 2020
    #318
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  19. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    I think @Dyre Straits posted this one earlier on lol. :p

    Edit: no just did a search and found out you had already posted this joke in the past! :eek:
     
    Calliers, Aug 6, 2020
    #319
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  20. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Did you hear about the Blonde that got thrown out of the M&M Factory?

    She was throwing away the W's.
     
    Dyre Straits, Aug 6, 2020
    #320
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