Very short jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Trusteft, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Bigamy means having one wife more than you should. Monogamy means the same thing.
     
  2. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    According to the Bible account of creation, after the first day of creation, God rested; the 2nd day, rested; the 3rd day, rested, etc. But, then, He created "woman" and, since then, NO ONE has rested! ;)
     
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  3. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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  4. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Many women choose to marry a man similar to their father. That's why the mother of the bride always cries at the wedding.
     
  5. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    I'm stealing this.
     
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  6. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    Me: Chrome, how much RAM will you need?

    Chrome: Yes
     
  7. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Fred Gibbs was retired, but, decided to start a second career as a caterer. However, he was constantly late, but an excellent worker!

    After a few weeks, his new boss called him in for a review.

    "Fred, you're an excellent worker and I'd hate to let you go. But, being constantly late is getting old," he said.

    "I know, and I'm working hard on that," Fred replied.

    "I'm glad to hear that, Fred. Tell me, on your previous job, whenever you were late, what did they say to you?"

    "Usually, it was 'Good morning, Admiral!'"
     
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  8. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    I'm sure his boss decided not to let him go after hearing that! :D
     
  9. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    At work, I got a plaque thanking me for my contribution to the team and waking up before 11AM the whole of three times over the previous two years. :D:D:D

    perhaps I mentioned this on a previous occasion
     
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  10. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    LOL!
     
  11. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    I'm sure you did. But, you've slept since then. :)
     
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  12. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood HH's curmudgeon

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    Guy walks into a bar.

    Doctor says the stitches can come out in two weeks....



    [cymbal crash]
     
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  13. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    Oldie but still good.
     
  14. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood HH's curmudgeon

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    [​IMG]
     
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  15. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    Imagine living your life and out of nowhere a dude falls onto you.
     
  16. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    Them: Who is your favourite band?

    Me: Yes.

    Them: No, who is your favourite band?

    Me: Yes.

     
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  17. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Not long after Pope Francis was elected the new pope, he traveled to Israel and met with a Rabbi and a Muslim Imam.

    Did anyone notice whether they walked into a bar together?
     
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  18. arb65912

    arb65912 Well-Known Member

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    Daddy, how far to America? ... Shut the fuck up and paddle!!!
     
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  19. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    I think @Dyre Straits posted this one earlier on lol. :p

    Edit: no just did a search and found out you had already posted this joke in the past! :eek:
     
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  20. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Did you hear about the Blonde that got thrown out of the M&M Factory?

    She was throwing away the W's.
     
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