Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Trusteft, Dec 2, 2009.
Bigamy means having one wife more than you should. Monogamy means the same thing.
According to the Bible account of creation, after the first day of creation, God rested; the 2nd day, rested; the 3rd day, rested, etc. But, then, He created "woman" and, since then, NO ONE has rested!
Many women choose to marry a man similar to their father. That's why the mother of the bride always cries at the wedding.
I'm stealing this.
Me: Chrome, how much RAM will you need?
Fred Gibbs was retired, but, decided to start a second career as a caterer. However, he was constantly late, but an excellent worker!
After a few weeks, his new boss called him in for a review.
"Fred, you're an excellent worker and I'd hate to let you go. But, being constantly late is getting old," he said.
"I know, and I'm working hard on that," Fred replied.
"I'm glad to hear that, Fred. Tell me, on your previous job, whenever you were late, what did they say to you?"
"Usually, it was 'Good morning, Admiral!'"
I'm sure his boss decided not to let him go after hearing that!
At work, I got a plaque thanking me for my contribution to the team and waking up before 11AM the whole of three times over the previous two years.
perhaps I mentioned this on a previous occasion
I'm sure you did. But, you've slept since then.
Guy walks into a bar.
Doctor says the stitches can come out in two weeks....
Oldie but still good.
Imagine living your life and out of nowhere a dude falls onto you.
Them: Who is your favourite band?
Them: No, who is your favourite band?
Not long after Pope Francis was elected the new pope, he traveled to Israel and met with a Rabbi and a Muslim Imam.
Did anyone notice whether they walked into a bar together?
Daddy, how far to America? ... Shut the fuck up and paddle!!!
I think @Dyre Straits posted this one earlier on lol.
Edit: no just did a search and found out you had already posted this joke in the past!
Did you hear about the Blonde that got thrown out of the M&M Factory?
She was throwing away the W's.
Separate names with a comma.