Very short jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Trusteft, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. Grace

    Grace HH's Tomboy

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    What does a guy and a car have in common?

    They both have the ability to misfire. Even though new cars rarely ever do...



    Why do men get their great ideas in bed?

    Because they are plugged into a genius...



    And...what's the difference between erotic and kinky?

    Erotic = using a feather
    Kinky = using the whole chicken!
     
  2. niceguyrichy

    niceguyrichy c c c COFFEE

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    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?


    When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
     
  3. deBelly

    deBelly New Member

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    Old Chinese saying: "If the dog barks, it's not cooked enough."
     
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  4. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Every 13 billion years, a group of top notch physicists gathers and turns on the LHC.
     
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  5. Cow_160483

    Cow_160483 HH's only cow moooooo...

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    1. The fight we had last night was my fault,
    my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

    2. An armless man in a long jacket walks into a bathroom and stands by a urinal...

    Soon seeing he needs help to use the toilet he asks a closeby man, " Can you help me point my penis" ?

    The man reluctantly accepted but, decided not to look at the mans penis. After a few seconds of holding it he thinks, " Hey! I'm grabbing it right"? " So I should look, I have a right"!

    He looks down at the mans member and sees that is beyond hidious. Startled he jumps back and lets go, asking. " What the hell is wrong with it ?"

    The "armless" man pulls his arms out of his jacket and says "I dunno, but, I ain't touchin' it." and walks away.
     
  6. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Falling in love is like wetting yourself, everyone notices, but only you feel the warmth.
     
  7. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood HH's curmudgeon

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    And eventually the cold.........
     
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  8. craig5320

    craig5320 Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a fish with no eye?

    FSH!
     
  9. Cow_160483

    Cow_160483 HH's only cow moooooo...

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    Q. Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC?
    A. Because its finger licking good!
     
  10. craig5320

    craig5320 Well-Known Member

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    ps. your vagina's in the sink.
     
  11. craig5320

    craig5320 Well-Known Member

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    Why are wedding dresses white?

    ...because all household appliances come in white.
     
  12. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    I know it's wrong, but I laughed.
     
  13. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    A footy fan on "The Weakest Link":

    Q: Where did Jesus go from Bethlehem?
    A: Um... Tottenham?
     
  14. niceguyrichy

    niceguyrichy c c c COFFEE

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    Q) how many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb ??



    A) wanna go play football ??!!!!?? :w00t:
     
  15. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.

    Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.

    I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.

    Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

    I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.

    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
     
  16. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Women don't play football because you can't find 11 of them who will agree to wear the same clothes in public.
     
  17. kris23

    kris23 Going Insane.....

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    i loled
     
  18. Cow_160483

    Cow_160483 HH's only cow moooooo...

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    Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
    The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
    "No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"
     
  19. craig5320

    craig5320 Well-Known Member

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    I was at the cash machine and an old woman asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
     
  20. charm_quark

    charm_quark incognito

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