Very short jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Trusteft, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. Takaharu

    Takaharu Unus offa, unus iuguolo

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    Baby, did you fall from heaven? Because you look like you hit every branch on the ugly tree at terminal velocity. Pity you survived.
     
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  2. Calliers

    Calliers Administrator Staff Member

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    Hahahahaha! Good one, will have to use that some day.
     
  3. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Android phones are cool because their battery drains faster than you can get drunk and do something stupid.
     
  4. Judas

    Judas Obvious Closet Brony Pony

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    Generally i like jokes... but i don't get this one...
     
  5. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    A young wife enters a pastry shop, asking: "Do you have a cake that's slightly burned on one side?"
    "Why would you want such a thing?", replied the worker.
    "I want my husband to believe that I made it myself."
     
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  6. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Me: *eating a steak*
    Random person: You know, all that red meat isn't good for you.
    Me: My grandfather lived to be 103...
    Random person: You think that that's because he ate a lot of meat?
    Me: No, it's because he minded his own business.
     
  7. tastyweat

    tastyweat Lurking

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    And the lord said unto John, "Come fourth and ye shall receive eternal life." But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
     
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  8. Cow_160483

    Cow_160483 HH's only cow moooooo...

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    I know I shouldn't but I laughed so hard on that one :D:D:D:D
     
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  9. tastyweat

    tastyweat Lurking

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    Me too... one of the best I've heard in a while :D
     
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  10. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Actually, a true story. :)

    Awhile back, while making a pizza delivery, while the Dad was taking care of the pizza order at the door, I noticed his 4-year old son playing around inside the house.

    I asked the tyke, "Hey, Sport! Do you like pizza?"

    He looked at me and replied, "My name is NOT Sport!"
     
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  11. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Heard a story on the radio last night.
    A church called a new pastor. As soon as he was installed, some members began asking him to remove a member from the choir.
    "He can't sing!" he heard over and over from each of them.
    Finally, he relented and met with the man.
    "I hate to do this, but I have to ask you to quit the choir. I've had six members tell me you can't sing," he said.
    The man replied, "That's interesting. I've had 10 members tell me that you can't preach."
     
  12. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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  13. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    A woman was going through the latest glamour magazine and saw a hairdo she simply had to have for herself!
    So, with the magazine in hand, she hustled to her favorite hair salon and showed the photo of the hairdo to her hairdresser.
    He politely nodded and she took her seat in the chair.
    As he began to work, she noticed he was whistling a catchy tune as he worked. She was about to ask the name of the song when she suddenly identified it herself.... It was the theme song from...

    Mission Impossible.
     
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  14. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    Pic related :D

    [​IMG]
     
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  15. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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    I don't get it.
     
  16. IvanV

    IvanV HH Assassin Guild Member

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    I posted it for the picture, in relation to Dyre's joke. As for the text... I don't find it funny either.
     
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  17. Trusteft

    Trusteft HH's Asteroids' Dominator

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  18. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    Can we just cut out the middleman and make it so that the light honks as soon as it turns green?
     
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  19. Dyre Straits

    Dyre Straits 10 Grandkids -2 Great-grandsons

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    That's what I thought. ;)
     
  20. techster101

    techster101 New Member

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    You can't explain a pun to a kleptomaniac. They take everything literally.
     
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